Monday, September 28, 2009

i feel like the colour grey.

this car was driving really dangerously near terri's car and all 3 of us in the passenger/backseat yelled "fucker!" at the exact same time.

then i realised, im home wtf.

of gay-porns, last minute yc sessions, lame dirty jokes (involving partition wtf), calling people names (yo rainforest), racist jokes, lectures on making racist jokes (hello arti), unfiltered language, randomly speaking bm, hoiyin, second places and of course, the beach.

honey, im home.

(whoops i just realised i gave a totally negative impression of myself hahahah!)

will blog about Best Holiday Week Ever later.

but here's a sneak peak :D

of course, its not purely about that. its about the feeling of belonging. the feeling of going back to something i had been so accustomed to. being in the same persekitaran and budaya for so many years, then suddenly being yanked out and thrown into a totally different new persekitaran, there's a certain sense of loss that comes with it. its inevitable i guess.

(haha you can so tell i had a severe case of homesickness.)

then just now, in the bus back to my hostel, i realised that coming back to usm, i had put myself on auto-pilot again. everything seems so automatic, i had a strong feeling of not being here at all. how do i make myself clear? hmm it feels as if im living here, doing the things i do everyday like going to classes and all, yet i dont feel myself. i dont feel the presence of my being here.

its as if as soon as i stepped into usm, i put myself on hold and let another being of me take over. i dont like myself like this. i dont know how to change it though. perhaps time will help? but the thing is, im not even sure if i want to change this.


there are some jolly moments though, however brief and rare they may be, leave me feeling more of myself than i ever could. these simple and (usually) utterly random moments pulls me out of the haze and keeps me from completely losing myself. it is not often i can say that i enjoyed myself very much here in usm, but on the occasions that i do, i really do. so im really glad i found the friends that i found here :D

things can never be the same as it used to be in highschool, obviously. i guess ill have to get used to this and in the midst of the all the unfamiliarities and crapload of assignments, find myself again.

how sickeningly cliche. but i suppose cliches are cliches for a reason.

damn i cannot believe how personal this post is hahah i have a lot of things to say, to tell and to show. but to whom should i say, tell and show to? who really cares anyways.

gawd i dont even know what im talking about anyways. the real motive of writing this is to escape the reality of having to write a 20-page paper due tomorrow morning which i've yet to start anyways. sorry if i tricked you into thinking this post is written for the purpose of writing it. call me crazy. no, really, call me crazy.

im hungry.

gawd i hate this post. i've half a mind to delete it.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Enchanted Garden + Sang Pengcinta

so im back in kuantan! raya hols for a week yays! everything feels so right here :D

let me post some pictures that is terribly outdated. so about a couple weeks ago, auntie had some theatre assignment-thing. damn fun ok their assignment is to watch something and write a report about it! dahlah classes in the afternoon cis not like my translation classes all in the morning *bitter

but theatre clashes with japanese so i chose japanese in the end. like, OBVIOUSLY. no contest man hahahhaha! anyways one of their theatre thingy was to go to this ballet performance by the elizabeth ballet school (or something like that), titled Our Enchanted Garden (not the most original title huh =p)

it was held in er somewhere in town. auntie and i went together with ciara and gang in two cars. but before that we had to wait for like AN HOUR OUTSIDE >__<
we totally made use of the time we had. productive arent we hehe

but due to some miscommunication, i had to pay like full price for it the tickets = RM30 T______T sigh bayar la jugak. takkan dress up nice nice go all the way there and not watch it meh T_____T

ini dewannya.all the other budak2 theatre/masscom were there as well. beng sami intan aya semua. and so we all started camwhoring before, during and after the show. typical. (not complaining though hehe)
thats pwetty ciara! so many random things in common with her hahah we have the same victoriassecret tee, vinccibracelet and tried on the same dress in F21 before! and we totally love the ISOS shop in perangin whoohoo must go shopping together next time ;p

the other girls: cherie natalia yi ling jik jane and er sorry i forgot her name >___<
everyone dressed up so prettily! i think its coz we rarely have any chance to dress up so took advantage of this event hahah this auntie needs no mentioning ;p
with dini aya and jacqueline! this was half-time hahah and we were scouting for better seats for clearer view.
crazyyy ahbeng!

i took LOADS of pictures and videos of the whole show but most of the pictures turned out blurry T_T ok so the storyline may be terribly cliche but the costume design and the choreographing (spelling btul x?) were
AWESOME. sparkly pretty costumes for every character, however small their part may be. gorgeous dances and tinkling music. the effort to put on a great show was definitely there. and it worked.

the usual good vs. evil story

i love the little kids characters costumes most. they were so cute! there were bumblebees, trees, faeries, rainbows, birds (that intan insists were chickens =_=") and others. every time they come out on stage we squeal in delight and aww-ed at their oozing cuteness. kecomelan yang teramat sangat!

there were a couple little girls sitting right behind us and all through the 2nd half part they were asking their parents so many questions. it would've been very annoying if they hadn't had such cute voices/faces and random innocent questions. but because they do, it was just annoying, though not the murderous kind hahahah!

the final bow~thats the what-i-assume-to-be-the-fairy-princess on the left, the bad guy in the middle and the sun goddess on the right.

oh lawd i have to mention the pengacara/emcee. he. was. so. fake! he was giving little bits of the introduction, story plot and all in such a fake cheesy tone of voice omg cannot tahan!! but it was very kind of them to be so considerate of the deaf that were there for the show. tadaa show ended. moving on to more camwhoring lalala~

the outsides are rather pretty~ theres even real peacocks around if i remember correctly.
then there's like a random hut in the middle of the pond @_@
fuh macam pageant je :D
auntie and i saw the 3 of them camwhoring there and we totally speed-walked towards them to memyibuk bersama hahahahha!
see the look on sami's face /wahaha



one fine day, sami decided to form a group of masscommers to join the upcoming pantomine competition. (but it wasnt all masscommers in the end coz we got uncle mini and pinky to join in as well!)

we had one week to prepare. oh sweet lawd im too bloody tired to finish this long-ass post.


usually in the middle of random places. like padang kawad. and kaki lima dewan.

suddenly auntie started teaching them chacha and then they all did the pocopoco =_=""
auntie iz headless.

just messing around and camwhoring the brialliant makeup artist whoohoo

the hasil kerja.
the whole group. well, pretty much.
love this picture!
amin being the glamour-boy hehe


can i die now?
i swear im never going to write about something i dont want to write about anymore!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

"no guts no glory"


posted 2 days ago in my private blog:

here's a rough list of "i cannot tahan"s, to be elaborated later in the naeust, if have got enough guts wtf

  1. people who express their every fucking thoughts/feelings/detailsoflife in their blog, attention whores. some people, you know theyre doing it for themselves. whereelse others, its bloody obvious theyre doing it for attention, them pretentious bastards. whats worse is that they THEN promote their blog kaukau in facebook, twitter, friendster etc and keep asking people to "go see my blog lah" WTF

  2. in (usually crowded) free-seating buses, people who sit on the outer chair (the NOT-window-seat). what the hell is wrong with them! do they not realise that this leaves the people-who-just-got-up-the-bus no place to sit at just because theyre too fucking lazy to move their lardy arse?? and they just sit there staring, pretending to not see that you are having difficulty finding a seat! fucking move in lah. then those who really wants/needs to sit, will have to squeeze into the window seat, which wastes time and could possibly cause a minor human-traffic jam in the bus.

  3. as mentioned in a few posts ago in naeust, idiots who dont understand the concept of a toilet flush and morons who feeds/indulge dirty potentially-diseased stray cats in hostel.

  4. people who washed their clothes in the washing machine and leaving it in there forFREAKINGever after its done. like hello, the timer is built in the machine for a reason. therefore, USE IT. damn annoying you know! me being the polite and considerate person that i am, just leaves the scene and wait, go down to check, wait, check again, wait and the whole cycle goes on and on. until i got a tip from an unexpected someone, just take their clothes out and put it aside whoohoo thats EXACTLY what i did just 20 minutes ago. screw bring nice and patient.

    to quote blair waldorf,
    "havent you heard? im the crazy bitch around here."

    (totally random picture coz i just feel like it)
    (isnt the polka-dotted border such prettiness :D)
    (yah mirror damn dirty, i know)
    (oh yeah, hair. hahah what do you think!)
    (bloody fooahpao cis i did not tied my hair back and pretend ok! T_T)

  5. annoying shoutout or personal message whatever on facebook msn etc. this topic deserves a list on its own.

    • having nothing to say yet saying it. there's really no purpose in posting up 3 little dots or claiming that they dont have anything so say. its plain futile.
    • summarising an entire day or worse, love life. for the former, nobody's really that curious so save yourself the effort (here's a tip: go start a blog or something but referring to #1, for goodness sake dont post every link up in facebook). For the latter, whether positive or negative, they both make me nauseous so quit it.
    • using like half a dozen of "~~~"s at the end of every sentence oh dear lawd help me. there's really no justifying this, its just plain old IRRITATING.

      *edited to protect identity*

    • this reminds me. the "z" at the end of normal-everyday-words and wOrdS TypEd oUt lIkE tHis. fucking hell dont these people have a life to waste on other things rather than adding extra alphabets to proper words and capitalising random alphabets in the middle of a word??

  6. guys who are already involved (according to their facebook profile) but can still come and add random girls that dont know them! its obvious that they simply add anyone coz you can see that they have like 300+ so-called "friends". its sick. you could defend them by saying perhaps they want to get to know more people and isnt that what facebook is for, socialising etc etc etc but oh i highly doubt it. there are a couple times where i thought this person looks a little familiar and we have a couple friends in common so i messaged him to ask if i am supposed to know him and as expected, no reply. urgh gross. do note that only desperate people add people they dont know.

  7. immature people who pretend to be mature. they're all old and supposedly wise but then the crucial moment comes where some maturity is needed, they behave and THINK like children. this makes it difficult to deal with them so usually i just ignore them until they grow up. it could be rather amusing to watch people like this. other times its just plain...(damn i've used annoying and irritating so many times i need a thesaurus am going to check for an alternative word now)...plain aggravating! infuriating! trying! exasperating! grating! bothersome! HAH!

  8. the entirely wrong spelling of ganbatte. omg this pisses the hell out of me! its lala-fied, i tell you. dearest ignorant people of the world, its NO WAY IN HELL gambateh. the correct term would be GANBATTE! no "M", no "H" either. see.

    ga n ba t te

    its so bloody exasperating (yes i just scrolled up and picked a word) to see this mistake being made over and over again. why cant they make proper research or find some worthy source to follow if they want to use this word!

  9. people who play/add all the nonsense facebook games/applications ALL THE TIME. case in point would be the recenlt popularization of the absolutely pointless Fan Check App and Who's Your Friend app. who the hell cares! are they so lacking in peers that they must be a part of it just to see how many people would comment etc? its so annoying to open fb and see the 21894 notifications, 90% of which are random strangers (my friend's friends) commenting on it, just because i was tagged. some are just trying it out out of sheer curiosity, i forgive but some, holy cow they are online 24/7 playing them! like right now, so many people playing those Mystic Meg prediction bullshit bullshit bullshit. try once dh lah tu, x yah lah nk try berpuluh2 kali pastu tanya soalan bodo plak. bengang btul.

  10. people who talk about innerbeauty bullshit then judge others by their appearance, speech etc. i swear alot, its no secret. yes its very much filtered in my time in usm but yet i still feel people judging. i cuss alot therefore i have bad character? should i start packing for my trip to hell now? (i was being sarcastic there, in case you didnt notice) these self-righteous idiots are the ones who have bad character.

    i strongly believe in what lies beneath the surface and the goodness in people, no matter how they present themselves. you may curse all you like, watch all the porn you want, flirt without how many people you want or have the dressing sense of a platipus, i'll still be friends with you if our personalities click and i know you're a good person and you speak english wtf. that said, i dont hate people who are grouped in this list (except for the #3s). i am just annoyed by their little irksome habits.

bloody hypocrite i am, you may be thinking. well fuck you.

thats all for today. i believe more elaboration is no longer needed, i have made myself pretty clear. i am terribly tempted to post this on naeust tapi takut ade org terasa pulak sigh c'est la vie.

i am noticing that most of my cannot tahans stems from facebook and people. does this mean to have a provocation-free life i'd have to quit facebook and exile myself to the mountains? i'll think about it and let you know wtf

Monday, September 14, 2009

The 20s Club.

silly me, in the midst of all the birthday celebrations and an auntie-less week, i have forgotten about this post. what else but

it is not my norm to say that i enjoyed my birthday, as it has been for the past years. birthdays were a rather everyday-thing, having a simple dinner outside and thats it. with the exception of last year, of course but thats special case wtf so it is with utmost pleasure that i declare, i had a really good birthday this year! :D

started off with a midnight suprise at the cafe by The Gang, complete with a birthday cake and this strawberry tart i've been drooling at everytime we go to tesco hehe we didnt even cut the cake. just grab a fork and everybody dig in! exactly the way i like it

"dig in and get your hands dirty"

edited to minimize the crappiness of well, me wtf.

the next day it was all business and class as usual. we rented a car (or a sorry excuse for a car. it felt like it was going to fall apart anytime soon omg >__<) to have the freedom of going anywhere we liked and boy was it a rush to hold the steering wheel in my hands. power steering or no power steering, driving is driving. damn i love driving. damn i miss my car boohoo. the first thing we did after class with the car is went shopping at tesco wtf

the rest were busy so it was me, auntie, mini, pinky and candee.

kekeke who can resist the lure of the camera

CAIN + DEE = CANDY!(mini was dozing off/resting behind so er dont dare stalk her hehe)

first stop: Toy Museum

am i wholesome or what hahahah i bet you guys are like, "wha...t?" but yes, we went to the toy museum! i suggested it somemore hehe suprised? hal ini demikian kerana (chewah bahasa esei pulak dah) munchy & UK mentioned that they really enjoyed it last time so yah we decided to check it out.

ok this one cheat one, we took it AFTER we went in hehe

can you see me? the one with the white skirt. YES SKIRT. it was actually rather far from usm, almost an hour with the rush hour jam and all, situated right in front of the hotel whose name starts with a C and er rather difficult to pronounce. oh and it was right opposite jerwin's restaurant,
vintage bulgaria!

the first look - i'll have to admit, it does look rather dodgy and creepy doesnt it hahahah!
but its not! because oh lookie, captain jack sparrow! :D
comparing heights hahah damn cute these 2 lovebirds
no idea who she is. but she's got big boobs so.
the white people
with er cloppy and mike wtf ok i just made that up, i tak pernah watch monsters inc so saya tak tau nama diaorg WHY DO I KEEP WRITING IN BM, SO ROJAK AND CONFUSING BUT IT JUST NATURALLY CAME OUT!

more pirates of the carribean goodness :D

one of the best sections in the toy museum, the barbie section!
meticulously taken for the benefit of Barbie Collector Arti :D
so pretty T__Tnot an easy job, considering how they're all packed into one shelf like that. but some are so breathtakingly pretty and elegant~

oh this. right. we're on friendly terms like that.

oh check out the toilet! very cool.
imagine being trapped in there during a blackout and looking at this! dolls like this creep me out >__<
they even have a special section with a warning included, for the creepy/scary/gory/gross toys. like this Clan of Chucky.
but they tend to be very random sometimes. death note toys were in that particular section, goodness knows why.
i actually took like a gazillion pictures in that section but siao ah wanna post it all up i have used up 80% ok! means i have about 6 months of blogging here left oh noes. must. save.

oh oh oh pictures of my favourite part of the museum! no contest at all. you guys know how much i love love love it.


Boys and girls of every age
wouldn't you like to see something strange?our man Jack is king of the pumpkin patch
everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now
the corpse bride. wasnt as good as TNBC but it was very aesthetically pleasing.

tim burton is pure genius. super excited for his version of alice in wonderland! tim burton + johnny depp is utter magic ~♥

mars attack omg can anybody remember this?? it was just so bizarre. i just recently found out its by timburton too. oddness hahah!
look, they have new ones as well: gollum, chucky, stictch and wall-e.saje berposing tgh2 muzium ;p
kindly taken by the er jaga of the museum hehe

it was getting late by the time we finished so we went straight to gurney plaza for japanese food oh joy :D i had sukiyaki, and they thought it was rather peculiar-tasting hahahah! sit sit makan makan cakap cakap. it was pinky's first time having japanese omg poor boy he was on blur-mode, how amusing hehe thankyouguys!

LEPAS TU (yes cerita tak habishabis lagi), off to egate for yc at starbucks. the recovering h1n1-er jerwin joined us and what an amusing boy he is, as mentioned in this post along with my appreciation to everyone hahahah i didnt had any though coz i was just too full >__<

even before we were at egate, aya and the rest were already calling me to the aman cafe. they said they have something waiting for me hehe so we quickly went back to usm after egate and tadaa, they got a cake for me and everything T_____T

love you guys!

it was so funny, they all suddenly sang for intan too and she was super confused! apparently, ahbeng got confused with the date and thought her birthday was 3rd september when it was actually 3rd november! HAHAHAHAHA! little cute ball of confusion, we called him. aya dengan cutenyer made bread and butter for all of us, using almost 2 long loaves of bread! ah it was jolly~

oh our new friend, arja and there's sami being slutty wtf

a good good day filled with mucho loves :D