Sunday, November 1, 2009

refleksi diri

eyes terribly tired, halfway closing.

and yet i am here. why?

i seem to come here often huh. it is as if im unconsciously seeking help from any random people that is reading this. but whatever for? do i really need help? i should think not *offended tone wtf

yawns. these few days had been blurry.

the smell of the library lingers. the little frown appears, wondering what to wear to the silly library. the frantic whisperings on the cellphone. the sighs of boredom. the enid blyton escapes.

caught sleeping. interesting day, that was. next post.

i've never been well acquainted with libraries. in fact, i believe im allergic to studying and library. they have the same effect on me as dementors do on the harrypotter people. they suck out happiness and joy, leaving me unmotivated, uninspired and worse of all, awfully dull.

honestly i've never studied as much as i did the past 3-4 days. those hours spent in the library, papers and pen in hand. i hate it. i hate every moment of it. thank God for the people around me to keep me sane. really. without them i'd go insane.

(gawd i hate myself when im so tired i let (almost) all my guards down and come here and write nonsense like this. no, this is not nonsense, but it is most unusual for me. this is not what this blog is for. but i've wrote too much in the other one this month and imma write this here to balance it out wtf twisted logic)

*just wrote a couple long-ass paragraphs of well, stuff here and decided to delete it. i guess i dont like people to see this side after all. gosh i wish everyone could just be honest with themselves and who they are and how they feel. and by everyone i mean me wtf


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