Thursday, October 28, 2010

on human relations.

"Those who are knowledgeable have rich conversations, and whatever worries you go to them with they can give you clear answers.
They have an extensive field of experience, so they can say "this sort of issue needs this"
and show you more and more of the inside of their drawer.
So they're broad, but when each problem comes with a set answer, it ends up making them shallow.

A deep person gets lost deep inside their own thoughts, and then ends up forgetting what the hell they were talking about.
But they realize that the more you ponder over something, the less you're able to grasp the answer to it.
That maze-like feeling is intriguing. Aren't conversations more interesting when they don't have a goal or an answer?

For example, if an M-1 Champion guests on a talk show, they'll talk about the M-1, just as they would on other shows,
and you can imagine what they'll say, so it gets boring. Personally, I find conversations that go where they will more interesting.
That may be hard to make happen on television, though."

interesting perspective, no? 


taken here

Saturday, October 16, 2010



i've been dying to blog about this,
you  know how much i've been lacking er motivation time to blog lately!

i has it finally, (*≧▽≦)
an ARASHI 10-11 TOURScene”~君と僕見ている風景 phone strap! 

i'd been waiting for about three weeks when one day my dearest ex-roomie waiwai told me she saw a letter for me at the office and picked it up for me! mwah mucho appreciates!

i collected it from her a couple days after, the very same day i arrived penang.
BEHOLD, THIS. (warning: huge pictures ahead!)

all prettily decorated with patterned-tapes and stickers!
a cute little note was included, with Tokyo Disneyland stationary!

 okay i should be explaining myself here hahaha!
you see, i recently made a new friend online.
well, a few new friends actually who are very nice people.
this girl in particular, i discovered, is an ARASHI fan as well! (O_O;)
to the KOKURITSU one! the one that seats 70000 people no kidding!
and so she very kindly got me the tour phone strap, among other things! ( ゚▽゚)

said other things

 and this. the icing.
isnt it awesome! and oh-so-pretty!
i love the colours! 
its like ARASHI, 
but slightly less crack brightly coloured,
but still cheery and happy! (*≧▽≦)


my first official Johnnys goods. 
oh the sweet sweet taste of fangirlism.
but wait! guess how much it costs!

 2000yen. meaning just about RM70.
even without the 0 behind i'd consider twice!
which shows just how kind and generous she is!
 but hold on a minute, there's more.

she visited Tokyo Disneyland too!
and got me these pretties! (^∇^)
(i think lah. it doesnt say but i doubt it's johnny's goods right)

 here's how it looks on my phone.
too precious for words. i'm like super careful with it.
and im so grateful, to know such a kind person!
there's another friend of mine too, i met from the same place.
she sends me pretty pictures of mt.fuji and autumn in japan.
it's great isn't it, to know such thoughtful people.
i wish i could do the same for them too.

thank you, you lovelies!

next up, we've decided to arrange a little christmas box for each other,
by her suggestion.  i've already started collecting little pretty things for her. 
this is really fun, i love planning little knick-knack presents!  (^-^*)

 here's a little aiba-spam to end the post with.
just because he's been awfully lust-worthy lately.
like really. messy hair messy shirt; rawr indeed.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

on another self-obsessed note.

TAGGED by a certain Miss Farahani: 50 Random Things!

1. Once I got so into this movie I watched it three times everyday; once after school, once during dinner and another before sleep. For a couple weeks straight.

2. I'm claustrophobic to a certain extent. My worst fear is getting into those MRI machines. Seriously.

3. I've developed (yes, developed) some fetishes lately. More than enough to deserve a post on its own soon.

4. The spot behind my neck in between my shoulders have been aching for weeks.

5. I don't hate pink as much anymore. I used to hate it on others as well.

6. The first skirt I officially bought was after my STPM. At age 19.

7. My primary school's a little bitchy about long hair, so I had to cut short hair before enrolling into Standard One. After that I swore I'd keep my hair long for at least 10 years to make up for lost time wtf.

8. I cried my ass out the night I had to cut my hair short. was effing miserable.

9. Back in the earlier days in Kuantan, we slept only on matresses and our furniture were all secondhands, things people didn't want anymore. Fridge, couch, shelves and the likes.

10. I have OCD tendencies. and a little ADD too sometimes.

11. I love driving.

12. I ARASHI, but you probably know that already.

13.My hand kinda itches right now.

14. Iched scratched.

15. My nails are red, dark blood red. yum.

16. I'm a dog AND cat person, i like both!

17. I like old things; old buildings, old pictures, vintage fabrics and the likes.

18. Yellow. Hated the colour until a year ago. Current favourite.

19. Reseach scenario-writing will be the death of me i swear. That, and ykt214.

20. My shoulders are still aching.

21. I currently have a strawberry phone strap, along with an ARASHI phone strap from the Kokuritsu Kimi to Boku no Miteiru Fuukei 2010 tour (thanks to a really really kind person!)
22. I'm really not a sociable person at all. more than half the time i'd rather stay by myself in my room, preferably with a good book or er smooth internet connection.

23. I like classic children story books: Anne of Green Gables (the whole series, in fact), Little Princess, Pride & Prejudice, Secret Garden, Heidi, What Katy Did and the likes. LOVE THEM.

24. I am very  interested in the subject of the Cultural Revolution in China and the whole Mao Zedong Communist thingamajig.

25. I want to be a gyaru when i grow up like seriously! :D

26.I have zero sense of direction.

27. I like vanilla-flavoured anything. I'm boring like that.

28. I used to dislike chocolate, i just didn't get the whole hype. Now, it's only imported chocolates or i don't even bother with it. and dark, preferably.

29.My secret (well, not anymore after this) dream is to open an orphanage one day. Eventhough i dont quite like kids. Dude, i used to hate kids.

30. Eating alone, going for movies alone, walking alone, i'm fine with that.

31. Punctuality is very important. I hate waiting and I hate people waiting for me.

32. Music keeps me going. old school music, cheesy feel-good music, eardrums-blasting music, slow instrumentals, whatever, as long as it's MY music.

33. I get pissed off upset affected really easily. Don't talk to me when i'm in those moods (but i'd still like you to treat me normally wtf) It's not personal, it's just that i snap back quite bitchily if further irritated. Don't want you to get hurt or anything like that.

34. I'm a walking contradiction. I contradict myself all the time.

35.  I'm very picky with clothes. and music. and people.

36. I really really  love the sound of a piano. My heart sighs a deep sigh of bliss when i hear beautiful music on the piano. Nino's Niji, i can die listening to him play that song over and over again.

37. I do everything i do according to whim, i dont exactly doing have a set pattern of things. Despite that, i'm still quite a routine person. Contradicting much?

38. I'm secretly S on the outside, M on the inside. (i suspect)

39. I get blothes of red all over that burns up in the morning if i consume cheap-ass vodka/alcohol. doesnt stop me though teehee.

40. I cannot tahan perempuan gedik dan pretend damsel-in-distress in front of guys. Rasa cam nk pukul je.

41. I want my hair all platinum blonde. or Paramore-vocalist red. AWESOME DOWH.

42. I have a very insensitive nose, I can't smell subtle scents! I'm practically blind too with both my eyes about the power of 700.

43. I get things, I understand things easily. Meaning I also empathise way too easily.

44. I'm bratty and whiny only with the people i'm really comfortable with. So if you think im annoying i probably love you lots hahahaha!

45. Life motto: go with the flow yo.

46. I nk gi mandi kejap, dh 13 jam dh kuar x balik blik ari nih.

47.Took me 17 minutes to take that shower. cuci rmbt what.

48. The only chinese song i know (with some lyrics memorised) is from a tvb drama that i still absolutely love to this day! lumae and i used to sing it in class wtf WHAT IS THAT DRAMA CALLED AGAIN??

49. I hate chilli, it's gross. It smells weird. I don't eat gross food.

50. I like pretty things; I'm a very visual-driven person.

Monday, October 11, 2010


i am crossing the penang bridge.
the sea is colourless today
dull and dreary, undisturbed and uninspiring
muted red buoys bobbing merrily in striking contrast
the pale sky, equally lifeless and dense with thick air
so much so that the horizon blurred
as though the sea and the sky became one
and there i sat, radwimps blasting in my ears
watching from the inside of a bus
a familiar feeling washing over me.

i am back. but is this place home?

i found comfort in soothing words, 
familiar faces and names, 
always kind and reassuring.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


its been three days, where my day-to-day going-ons are supported by a background music of buddhist chantings. 
now, for the first time in days, weeks almost, i have some quiet time to myself. alone.

its 5.15am and im awake,
along with a few cousins of mine.
theyre outside playing card monopoly.
i can hear their occasional bursts of laughter from this dining hall.
we're on night duty, one could call it.

i just finished my literature review, retracing the sources was a mighty pain in the ass i tell you.
next on the list: ethnic research (20 pages) and campaign methodology (40 pages?).
i dont even want to think  about my advertising assignments, both individual and group. bloody hell.

but for now, i have these three hours to myself.
i would  go to sleep, but i just realised nobody prepared any place for me to sleep!

i hate coffee. yet im drinking my second glass right now. while cracking peanuts.
i feel like an old man, so at peace and calm right now.
i really like the stillnes of an ungodly early morning,
provided that im not rushing my ass off finishing some assignment or something.

damn, why does that word keep haunting me. assignments.
its like everything i do, i feel a burden of work undone at the back of my head.

you know, i dont really want to go back.
but im not sure if i want to stay as well.
one by one, things familiar to me are slipping way.
i dont fight it anymore, i just go along with the course of things.
like an autumn leaf drifting along with the stream.

its 5.35am. one cant help but to be honest with oneself at this hour.
truthfully i've been avoiding this topic, eluding from mentioning it.
i dont want to deal with people's reaction, their politically-correct response.
its hard enough that i had to leave things behind so abruptly.
i had to text, email and call about eight to nine person as soon as i found out,
just to let them know i had to shirk away from my responsibility towards them for a while.
and then there are those who had to pick up after me, and left to explain my sudden absence.
im so sorry, really. 

and now, im tired of avoiding this matter.

my grandmother passed away.

there, i said it. 

the funeral's tomorrow.

Friday, October 8, 2010

ashes to ashes.

yesterday, i smell of incense and ashes.

today, again, i smell of incense and ashes.

my face is warm, almost as if i've got a high fever.

and apparently the colour of my nails (black) matters very much.

opps bell ringing! time for being bored prayers!

what prayers, im not even buddhist.

im just standing there for looks.

let me grab some make-your-burgers first. 

theyre like chewy and yummy and stuff.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

lime bath.

i smell of flowers, lime and milk.

is this a recipe for a spa?

nope, just plain old me.

flowers and lime from a bath earlier. the lime smells absolutely heavenly.
my first hot bath in a while, it was very refreshing.

and milk, milk from my travel-sized johnsons lotion. skin soft and faintly milk-scented.
if i could smell like this everyday, i'd be quite contented with life.

on another note, i'd like to think that home is where the heart is.

but this is life; and i'm just a mere human being.
so in the end, there's lots of  things i'd like that are not entirely possible.

that said, i've never quite liked bends in road,
however interesting they may well make life be.

and on no occasion i've ever been partial to great big houses.

plus, i think i secretly may well be pyromaniacal. 

p/s: im not that  entirely random, you know.